


Ups and Downs

by Daphnean



Series: Soo Saptember [18]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Fluff, Height Differences, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-13 23:04:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16027841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daphnean/pseuds/Daphnean
Summary: Yifan's keeping something from Kyungsoo. Several things actually, on the highest shelves in the house.





	Ups and Downs

Yifan was living a lie. It was a slow consuming guilt that ate at him, haunted him in the silent moments where his thoughts could creep in and lurk. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach, all consuming and ready to spill out of him at any moment.

Apparently that moment was at lunch with his best friend (and coincidentally his boyfriend’s best friend too), right in the middle of a story about how he’d almost spilled his cherry slushie all along his composition equipment, ruining hundreds of dollars worth of tech and lost months of work.

“So there I am, a puddle of red slush right on my junk, when Yixing walks in and-” Chaneyol was gesticulating as he spoke, pantomiming his wide legs like he still had drink all over his lap.

“I put things purposely on the top shelves at home so Kyungsoo has to ask me to help get them for him.” Yifan put his head in his hands.

Chanyeol’s response was silence, briefly, before he burst out laughing. “What? Fan, is my story that boring that you have to make up your own?”

“It’s not boring. And my story isn’t made up. I’ve...been doing it for about two months now.” Yifan peeked out from between his fingers at his friend.

To his credit, Chanyeol didn’t seem disgusted, and seeing as he had a fairly expressive face, Yifan would know exactly how he felt if that was the case. “Okay, wrapping up my story, Yixing helped me clean it up and slushies are now forbidden at work. Baekhyun bought me a sippy cup instead. Hilarious. Now, onto your confession.”

Yifan had no defense, hands moving to between his legs as he hung his head. “I just...I don’t know, Yeol. I guess I’ve been feeling insecure lately and so...I’ve just found excuse after excuse to put things up high. I lied and said I saw the dogs getting into the laundry soap, that I found ants on some of our groceries...”

“Insecure, huh?” Chanyeol brought his straw to his lips, drinking thoughtfully if his brows were any indication. “Why? You guys are basically married already. How long’s it been, like...six years, right?”

“Six years, seven months, and thirteen days.” Yifan was a little sheepish, at the detailed response he could give, and a hand moved to the back of his neck instead so he could rub at it as they spoke. “Just...Kyungsoo doesn’t need me.”

“Whoa, whoa. That’s a pretty big claim. Who told you that?” Chanyeol sat his drink down, eyes wide.

Yifan sighed. “No one did. You know him, though; completely independent, self-reliant...collected and reserved.”

“All positive traits to have. Would you want him to be totally dependent on you?” Chanyeol took a fry and dunked it into his ketchup before popping it into his mouth. “Just because he doesn’t...I don’t know, need you to fix his life, doesn’t mean you don’t add a great deal to it.”

“I...” Yifan didn’t have a good argument to any of what Chanyeol had said. He took a bite out of one of his chicken tenders and sighed. “It’s me. I know it’s me. But now I...what do I do? Admit to my stupid little equalizer ploy and make him feel like he’s letting me down? Or do I just...put everything back and pretend it didn’t happen?”

Chanyeol had gone through a few more fries, currently back to his drink. “I think you need to tell him, Fan. Sometimes being the best friend of a couple gets frustrating fast, because I know both of you well enough, but I can’t speak exactly _for_ either one of you on some topics...”

“Not that I’m saying to stop talking to me about things!” Chanyeol raised his hands up in defense. “Just that...I think that he would want to know that you’re feeling this way and work with you to fix it. That’s how Kyungsoo is, yeah? Just because you’re having a weak moment doesn’t mean he’s going to dump you. You’re both mature adults that can discuss things. There’s a lot worse things than worrying you’re not useful enough in a relationship. You still love him, right?”

Yifan nodded quickly. “Of course. I want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

“Then shit like this is going to happen. There’s always gonna be bumps and potholes in the road. You can fill them or swerve around them, but it’s a lot easier if you know they’re there to begin with.” Chanyeol took a bite of his burger, chewing with satisfaction at his response.

His friend’s words resonated within him even with all of the doubt pinging around inside his head. Yifan smiled. “How are you single with insight like that on relationships?”

“You tell me.” Chanyeol grinned, a bit of mustard at the corner of his mouth. “I’m a catch."

Yifan laughed, handing him a napkin. “That you are. Thanks, Yeol.”

–

Yifan was halfway through a chapter, glasses slipping down his nose, when he heard a knock at the office door. Looking away from the screen, and blinking a few times to adjust his vision, he cleared his throat. “Yes?”

“Hey, babe.” Kyungsoo, in just a t-shirt and shorts, padded into the office, the puppies scrambling in behind him. Once he crossed the room, he leaned in to kiss Yifan’s temple, hand smoothing over his shoulders. “Getting a lot done?”

His eyes fell closed and he leaned into the smaller man’s touch. “Trying to. She just found the second body, so I’ve had to make sure I have the crime scene laid out for her to find the right evidence.”

“Should I go then?” Kyungsoo kept at his gentle rubbing along his shoulders and back where he could reach with Yifan sitting.

Yifan shook his head, taking his glasses off and setting them near his mouse pad. “I really should take a break. My poor eyes.”

Kyungsoo pinched his shoulder. “Take care of yourself or I will. But if you’re taking a break, could you grab the laundry soap for me? I thought I’d take care of chores now so we could maybe have a movie night on the couch.”

Guilt felt like a punch to his chest and he subconsciously rubbed his sternum in response. “Oh. Yeah, of course.”

Once standing, he lead the way into the laundry room. On the shelf above the washer and dryer were the laundry supplies, rather than on the nearby counter. Yifan rested his hand on the top of the washer and sighed. “Soo?”

Kyungsoo had a basket of laundry at his hip, head tilted as he watched him. “Yes?”

Yifan closed his eyes, turning around to lean against the appliance. “I didn’t see the dogs get into the soap.”

Slowly, Kyungsoo began to sit the basket down on the floor, brows coming together with confusion. “You didn’t?”

“I also never found ants in the cereal.” Yifan sighed. “I...lied.”

He was afraid to open his eyes, but he did anyways. Kyungsoo was leaning against the counter on the opposite wall now, confusion still written across his features. “Okay. May I ask why?”

Yifan floundered, then. Words were falling out from his hands, like a child trying to catch raindrops. “I...”

“Let’s sort out the dark clothes from light.” Kyungsoo leaned down to pick up the basket, spilling the contents onto the countertop. “And maybe you can tell me?”

Thankful for something to do with his hands, Yifan started picking the black socks and t-shirts from the mass of clothes. “You’re...you’re really wonderful, Kyungsoo.”

“That’s quite a compliment. So...you needed to put things on high shelves to remind me I still have flaws? Like being a shorty?” Kyungsoo teased, smile bright as he collected the whites into his own pile.

“No! No, I...because then you’d.” Yifan ran a hand through his hair. “Because then you’d need me.”

Kyungsoo stopped his sorting, turning to face him fully. “Yifan...”

Embarrassed, more red than his favorite sweater still hiding a midst their laundry pile, Yifan couldn’t look over at his boyfriend. “If I didn’t live with you, you’d still have an immaculate house and manage your finances and friends and a good job, but without you...”

It was scary to imagine, but his mind had dredged up ideas anyways. “Without you, I’d never meet my deadlines. I’d leave mugs in the sink till they had ecosystems. I’d probably forget to see my friends for weeks at a time...this way, in some little, tiny way, you’d need me too.”

The laundry room was silent as Kyungsoo resumed his sorting. For a few moments they both moved, without saying anything at all. Yifan was afraid he’d screwed everything up, like a red sock in a load of whites.

“I do keep a clean house. I never miss a payment and I find time for my friends, but do all those things make me happy?” Kyungsoo turned to face him again, reaching up to cup his jaw. “You can have a four course meal and still want dessert. You don’t need it, but you want it.”

Yifan felt his eyes sting and he closed them tight, tilting into the smaller man’s touch. “I’m sorry-”

Kyungsoo’s lips brushed his own. Yifan could imagine him on his tip-toes to reach, even with Yifan slightly leaning forward. “Please don’t be. I didn’t realize that you were feeling inadequate. I thought it was nice that I took care of so much, but if it makes you feel so self-conscious, maybe I need to let go of a few things.”

The thumb brushing his cheek made him open his eyes, Kyungsoo’s gaze warmer than fresh towels from the dryer. Yifan could only feel the love between them, not the uncomfortable worry in his chest. “I love you, Kyungsoo.”

“And I love you, Fan.” Kyungsoo leaned up for another kiss. “Want to know a secret?”

Yifan sighed against his mouth, feeling more comfortable than he had in months. “Yeah?”

“I like asking you to grab the detergent for me. It gives me an excuse to come bug you in your office and watch your shirt ride up when you have to reach high.” Kyungsoo nipped his lip. “Your butt looks good too.”

Laughing, Yifan moved to pick Kyungsoo up into his arms, settling him onto the counter. This way they were eye to eye. “Well I guess it needs to stay up there, doesn’t it?”

“That’s fine by me.” Kyungsoo kissed him once more.

All of Yifan’s worries now in the wash, the love shining through, he only had one more thought. “Maybe we should start the laundry now and I take you out instead. Maybe to the museum?”

“It’s a date.” Kyungsoo smiled against his mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> What can I say? I'm weak for height differences in ships. For Kinktober I played with ChanSoo and height differences, so for Saptember I left it up to Yifan. These two were precious to work with and I was surprised how soft and sincere the fic turned out to be.
> 
> EXO and all other Kpop entertainers presented here are real people and so I remind you that this is just a fic, like a play with their stage personas as the actors. This is not intended to be a representation of who these men and women are or are not. Remember to love and respect them always. And thanks for reading! <3


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